The Dare Game
by Hodgela4Life
Summary: House is dangerous when he's bored. What'll happen when he starts up a dare game... Rated T for later chapters, may be changed to M. Pairings will be Hameron with some Wuddy references later on.
1. Day 1: Thursday

Day 1: Thursday

"I've got an idea," House said, emerging from his office. The ducklings looked up excitedly. They hadn't had a case in over a week, and you could only do crossword puzzles for so long until you began seeing little black boxes everywhere.

"Here's my idea. I'll come up with a pretend case. You all will come up with a correct diagnosis. Whoever has the least number of points after, oh say, ten cases has to do a dare. Whaddya think?"

"What kind of dare?" Chase asked timidly.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," House replied wickedly, smiling mischievously.

"I'm in," Foreman said bravely.

"Me too," Cameron said resignedly.

"I guess if they're doing it, I will too," Chase acquiesced reluctantly.

"Great. First case. Patient, Sarah. Fifteen-year-old female. Admitted to the ER from a car crash. We patch her up; she grows warts over the scars. What does she have?"

"I know!" Cameron said brightly. The other two groaned. "She has a rare mutation of herpes that was probably given through a blood transfusion, because it's undetectable until it causes an outbreak. She was already on immunosuppressants from the accident, so she had an outbreak immediately in the sites where the bleeding was localized. The cuts."

"Point Cameron!" House exclaimed, putting a tally under 'gorgeous brunette' on the whiteboard. Also up there were 'shaggy wombat' and 'really dirty one'.

The game continued, taking a turn as House began throwing out neurological cases. Foreman ended up in the lead after 10 questions. Chase was predictably last.

"Okay, kiddies. Dare time for the wombat!" House, Foreman, and Cameron huddled in House's office as they thought up a dare for Chase.

"I say we make him cop a feel on Cuddy," Foreman suggested.

"Nah. We'd get in trouble and put down in the clinic."

After a moment's silence, Cameron snapped her fingers. "I've got it." The others leaned in to listen. She explained her plan as devilish smiles crossed their faces.

"Okay, Chase, here's what you've gotta do."

Wilson was standing at his filing cabinet when Chase walked in.

"What can I do for you, Chase?"

"They made me do it." With a grimace on his face, Chase moved in and kissed Wilson on the lips before running out mortified amidst peals of laughter from the three diagnosticians behind the potted plant and the astounded nurses who happened to have been paged to the scene by a certain cane-wielding doctor.

"Okay. Chase is gonna be out this round 'cause he need to lay low for a while. That leaves the dark one and the pretty one."

"But Cameron's quite pale," Foreman replied jokingly.

"Moving on. Here's your first question…"

This time, every one of the ten questions was obscure and neurological, nothing an immunologist would ever know. Soon, the score was 16 to 4, Foreman. Cameron still had her points from the previous round. Foreman made a move to House's office, but House shook his head. He already had a great idea.

"Since dear Cameron here lost by such a large margin, her dare's going to be drawn out. Starting Monday, she has to get dressed up for five days straight. That includes hair, makeup, shoes, the whole shebang. Oh, and don't forget the revealing dress!"

At that moment, Cuddy burst in. Wilson had obviously run to her to tattle after the whole Chase fiasco.

"All of you, down to the clinic, now!! And where's Chase?" She yelled.

"Hiding in the last stall in the bathroom next to the annex to the diaper supply closet in the OB/GYN ward," House replied, sniggering. He strode out of the room, ducklings in tow.

"Are you actually going to do it?" Foreman asked.

"Sure, why not? I have lots of dresses because whenever I'm depressed, I go binge shopping. It's actually loads of fun!"

"House and the two mildly intelligent of his ducklings checking into the clinic at 12:17," House told the intern on duty before grabbing a file and a lollipop and walking off.

"That's Allison Cameron and Eric Foreman," Cameron clarified. They left to deal with stuffy noses and hypochondriacal mothers.


	2. Day 2: Friday

Day 2: Friday

"Guess what!" House said excitedly. "We've got a case!" There were cries of joy from the kiddies, including a 'Praise the Lord' from Foreman and a 'Hallelujah' from Chase. House presented the details Cameron smiled, and then looked worried, while Foreman and Chase just looked stupid.

"Ah, I see Cameron has caught on."

"It's an infarction," she blurted out. "In his right leg."

"Point Cameron." House put a tally under Cameron's column, which had been retitled to 'the one with the amazing legs' "But don't think this is getting you out of the dresses dare." Cameron frowned. She'd hoped he'd have forgotten about that.

Just then, Cuddy stormed in. "Boys. Clinic. Now. Cameron, my office." Cameron, mystified, followed Cuddy.

"I was packing up to leave yesterday when I got a call from Vogler. Apparently, House has been refusing to use any of his drugs to treat patients, clinic or otherwise. He insisted that I do something. Here's what I decided. I'm going to review each and every one of House's diagnostic patients' files. But I can't deal with him all the time. So I'm putting you in charge of the Diagnostics department indefinitely, effective Monday. I want you to review his clinic patients' files and oversee all treatment he administers to his diagnostic patients."

Cameron gaped at her. "You're serious?"

"Absolutely. Now go before I change my mind."

Stunned, Cameron left the Dean of Medicine's office. What was she gonna tell House?


	3. Day 3: Monday

Day 3: Monday

Cameron woke up at 5:30 to the sound of her alarm clock. She turned it off, still feeling the aftereffects of her dream. Patrick Dempsey had been flirting with her in Sid's bar from Bones. God, she loved those shows. Such drama!

True to her word, Cameron put on a dress and heels and did her hair after a quick shower. She had decided to start out fairly conservative, leaving her most… revealing dress for Friday. She chose a simple strappy black dress that dipped down in the back with criss-cross straps and a simple pair of strappy black heels. She kept her makeup to a minimum, preferring to go for the 'fresh' look. Taking a deep breath, she left for work. Walking into the conference room, she quickly grabbed a lab coat to wrap around herself. Then, she made coffee and settled down to sort the mail. House walked in at his usual time, two hours after everyone else.

"Okay, people. New rule! Lab coats will not be worn in this room, my office, or on my balcony. Understood?"

Chase and Foreman put their coats back on the rack. Cameron, however, left hers on, rummaging through House's 'in' tray.

"Obviously Cameron's a little deaf this morning. Coat off!"

Calmly, she walked toward him and handed him Cuddy's memo stating her new position of authority.

"According to this, I don't have to follow your orders. But since I know that this is the be best part of your day, here you go."

She took off her coat, spinning to let the boys get the full 360 view.

Still looking at the paper, House was angry.

"This says that you're my boss indefinitely and I've got to get your ok to try any drugs on any patient. That's just…" His rant petered off as he raised his head, seeing her in her full glory.

"Holy…"

Just then Wilson walked in, his eyes on the file in his hands.

"House, you've got a new case. Kinda boring, at least to you, but Cuddy told me to give it to you anyway. Oh and Chase, I've heard from quite a few nurses that House here planned your little… lapse in judgment, so ignore the rumor going around that you're madly in love with me and are trying to convince me to elope with you next weekend. Oh, hey Cameron."

He smiled to Cameron as he handed out copies of the file. House was still staring at his new boss openmouthed. Wilson pushed up his jaw and forced him to look down and the patient's file. After looking for a few seconds, House spoke.

"Easy. This one's worth two point on the board."

All was silent until Cameron burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"This is hilarious. Did House set this up with you, Wilson? Seriously, this is perfect. It's lupus!"

House put two tallies under Cameron's column, which he had renamed 'My Beautiful Bosomy Boss' moments before.

"Wait, is this seriously a patient or just an extension of your game?" Cameron asked.

"No," Wilson replied, "It really is a patient. Or at least, it was. I found her in the clinic and though you would get a kick out of it, seeing as it absolutely never is lupus."

Suddenly, the silent Chase spoke. "It's dare time!"

"What?"

"Add up the tallies. That makes thirty. It's dare time"

"Uh, Chase," Foreman replied uncertainty. "18+4+628, not 30"

Cameron looked up. "I've got a question, but it's not entirely medically related. Actually, it has nothing to do with medicine. The first one to correctly guess what color underwear I'm wearing gets two points, and I'll do two of his clinic hours."

Immediately, Chase, Foreman, and Wilson began firing off guesses.

"Black."

"Pink."

"Red."

"White."

"Purple."

"Polka dotted." This one was from Chase. "What? I have polka dotted underwear."

House spoke up. "She's not wearing underwear."

The three other doctors ogled at House, and then stared at Cameron with a new appreciation.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"You've been walking with your legs closed today. That means one of three things. Either you're menstruating, which I know you're not, you're not due for another week; Chase made a pass at you, you've both been here all day; or you went commando and are trying to stop anyone from noticing."

Cuddy stormed in. "Clinic. Now. All of you. GO!" Then she saw Cameron. "Nice dress. Where'd you get it?"

"Nordstrom's."

"It's cute. Not too sexy, still appropriate for the workplace and yet highly eye-catching." Eyeing the dawdling boys, she screamed again. "Go! Now! Leave! Stat!"


	4. A Quick Author's Note

Hey guys!!! Sorry I haven't been putting author's notes or anything on this story. I'm just starting out with and I'm just trying to get used to how it works. Thanks for the reviews!!! It may be a little while until I can update again because I just posted all three of the chapters that I have already written, so you're going to have to wait for me to finish writing the fourth chapter before I can post it. Also, just a little survey question. Do you all prefer large chapters every few days or smaller chapters every day. Feedback will be appreciated. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Another Quick Author's Note

I'd like to thank you all for your great reviews, but especially:

DarkKrystal

Pebble

SunrunnerFirebird

Mishy-mo

Runningismyhigh

For putting The Dare Game on their favorites list!!!! Thanks, guys!!!!

Hodgela4Life


	6. Day 4: Tuesday Part 1

I decided that you'd probably rather have this chapter in two parts rather than in one because I'm having trouble thinking up dares (explained in the story) and it'll probably be another day or two before part 2 is doene. i thought that this story needed a little kick to keep it interesting, but be assured that day 6 will continue with the dare game.

Also, thanks to everyone who left me lovely reviews!!!

Disclaimer: Some kids wish for a pony. I wish for this show. But you can't always get what you want...

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Day 4: Tuesday (Part 1)

Chase entered PPTH excited the next morning. He couldn't wait to see Cameron. He nursed a secret passion for her, and tried to sabatoge all her other relationships, even going so far as to pay off the waiter at her date with House to interfere whenever they became to intimate. When he entered the conference room, she was already sortin House's mail, coffee made. Unfortunately he couldn't see what she was wearing because she was still wearing her lab coat.

"What happened to House's 'no lab coats' rule?"

"He's not here yet, is he?"

"Yes he is, coat off," House interjected as he walked in, on time for once.

"House?" Chase was stuttering. "Wh- How- Why are you here so early?"

"I just couldn't wait to see you guys," he replied sarcastically. In actruality, he had been woken up early by his neighbors' hungry four-year-old son, but there was not way his ducklings were getting the real story. "Now Cameron, if you don't take that coat off now, I may have to prescribe some crazy drug to all the clinic patients and make you review all of them to figure out which one actually needs it." Cameron rose hastily, removing her coat.

She wore a strapless emerald dress with black embroidery that set off her meticulously styled hair perfectly. Aroudn her neck as her mother's emerald choker, bequeathed to her on her sixteenth birthda.

House's words caught in his throat. Taking deep breaths, he struggled to regain composure. He couldn't let down his barricades. Not yet. Clearing his throat, he struggled to speak.

"Today, there will be no games and no dares. Today will be entirely devoted to planning."

"Planning?"

"Don't tell me none of you know what day it is tomorrow."

Foreman groaned. "It's April 1st, April Fools Day."

"Correct. We're going to work in teams. Me and Cameron, Foreman and Chase. Teams will reciev4e one point for each prank successfully pulled on the other team, three for pulling one on Wilson, four for Cuddy, and two for anyone else in the hospital, excluding patients 'cause I'm in no mood for another malpractice lawsuit. Any prank that is pulled on multiple groups of the aforementioned permissible parties will result in the awarding of ten extra points per party. Ten points will be deducted for any patient involvment, inadvertently or not. Understood?"

The three nodded.

"Great. Cameron, let's go. I've got a great top secret planning spot!"

* * *

An hour later saw House and Cameron in the annex area of the morgue. Cameron was not happy about House's choice of headquarters.

"Remind me again why we could't do this in your office?"

"Cuddy's on the warpath today," House explained patiently. "This is one of the only places she hasn't though to look for me yet." He finished what he had been writing on an old receipt to a gas station and handed it to her. "Okay. Here's what you need to bring with you and what to do with it."

"How are we going to get all this done?"

"We're staying here overnight. Bring some pajamas."

"How're we to accomplish that if they're here too?"

"You're really bad at this, you know. We leave, get the stuff. After they leave, we come back, do our thing. Meet me back here at eight o'clock sharp."

"Eight? Will we really need that long?"

"That list of yours isn't even half of what we're gonna do. Plus I'm hoping that the boys won't anticipate our return and will set up their tricks for us to disable before it's officially April 1st. Plus, we might have to wait a little while if Wilson or Cuddy decide to stay late."

"Okay. So I get this stuff. We meet back here at eight, the when it's safe, I go do this stuff and meet you back here when I'm done."

"Then we go on up to my office and search for traps. There will be no need to check the conference room because you will have already checked while setting up your pranks."

"Ten-four, commander." They left the morgue and were immediately onset with a rant from Cuddy. The general gist of it was that House had over a year's clinic duty to catch up on, but neither were sure because they weren't actually listening.

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I hope you liked it. Now, you know what to do. PUSH THE BUTTON. Remember, reviews equals love, and love equals more stories for you!!! 


	7. Day 4: Tuesday Part 2

Hey, Guys. SORRY it took so long for this next chapter, but it's been a really stressful time in my life right now. I wanted to get this chapter perfect, and rushing it just wouldn't do that. I hope it's worth the wait!!!

**Disclaimer**: If I owned House, it wouldn't keep getting bumped for American Idol.

* * *

_8:00 – Rendezvous in the morgue_

House was already there waiting when Cameron walked in. He had one large black trash bag overflowing with various bits of junk. Her materials were packed quite nicely in a large brown shopping bag.

"I had to rework some of our pranks," he told her, shoving her a new list. "Here are the changes."

"Okay," she replied. "Let's do this."

Exiting the morgue, they went their separate ways, sneaking about behind various potted plants.

Whilst setting up a particularly nasty trick involving Chase's chair and lots of superglue, Cameron stumbled upon the April Fool's equivalent of a pot of gold. Stumbled is a fairly accurate verb, because she in fact tripped over it. Looking over it, she smiled, and then pocketed it. House would be so proud…

Meanwhile, House was in Cuddy's office, disabling the booby trap on her desk. It actually was a booby trap in the literal sense of the word. Picking up her phone would result in a sticky glob of peanut butter and Styrofoam right between the breasts of the unsuspecting Cuddy. House was loath to remove it, but you gotta do what you gotta do. After doing a final survey of Cuddy's office, he was satisfied that he had accomplished everything, and he set off for the morgue.

Cameron paced the area between deceased patients 'Stevenson, Jamie' and 'Taft, John'. She couldn't wait to show House her treasure.

"Hey!"

"Hey. Did everything go all right?" She nodded. "Good. What'd you score?" She looked confused. "What's that in your hand?"

"Oh, nothing. Just Chase and Foreman's list of pranks. And before you say it, I know it's legit because I found every one of those tricks, and I didn't find anything not on the list. Some of these are pretty good."

A loud crunching sound was heard as House's jaw dropped to the floor. "You have their master list?" Then a wicked smile crossed his face. "It's still only 9:30. Let's go around disabling all their traps. They're gonna be so mad!"

Cameron nodded, looking at the list. "Okay. Let's start with Cuddy's office. Did you get the phone activated peanut butter?"

"Yup."

"The water balloons over the door?"

"Absolutely."

"The whoopee cushion sewn into her chair?"

He cringed in remembrance. "Oh, yeah."

She laughed. "The dead rat in her drawer?"

"That was Steve McQueen," he sniffed. "I put him in Foreman's coffee cup."

"Ooh, this one's cruel. The fake positive pregnancy test in her pencil jar?"

"Right-o."

"This one you probably didn't get. The email with Cuddy's face in a porno picture that was sent to the entire hospital?"

"Ouch. Nothing we can do about that one."

"That's the end of the ones against Cuddy. Now Wilson. Did you get the letter from his 'ex-wife' saying she wanted to get back together and have ten kids?"

"I've still got it. I might use it sometime."

"Duct-taped phone?"

"That one was kinda hard to miss."

"Vaseline on the inside doorknob?"

"Found that one the hard way. Damn stuff's still all over my fingers."

"Hmm… This one's just labeled, 'leopard print'"

He let out a short laugh. "Everything in his office was covered with pink leopard print. Everything. Chair, desk, walls, computer, pencils. I left that one up. I decided it was worth three points. God I can't wait for him to get in tomorrow."

"Okay then… moving onto the conference room. It looks like I got all these… except this one. Apparently there's Jell-O in your coffee cup and mine's full of glue, which should harden by morning. That's pretty dumb. Wouldn't I notice that when I made coffee?"

"Well, when have they ever been renowned for their common sense?"

"Touché."

"Alright. Let's go up to my office for the next couple."

"Okay."

As they walked, Cameron made a confession.

"I didn't exactly follow your instructions. You see, my older sisters and I, and my brother once he was old enough, we used to play the most awesome tricks on my parents. One time, we taped the little button on the sink down. You know, the one that controls the little sprayer? Well, we taped it down so that when our mom turned on the faucet to make coffee, she got water straight in her face. Then one year we put sugar in the salt shaker, and vice versa, so my dad's coffee was bitter and his eggs were sweet."

"That's bloody brilliant!"

"Anyway, I changed some of your tricks. Like the one where you had me coat the inside of Chase's coffee mug with a pepper and molasses mixture? Well, instead, I took the mixture and formed it into little chunks so that they'll flavor the coffee, but if Chase takes a particularly long draught, he will swallow one."

"Nice."

By this time, they had reached House's office. The blinds were drawn.

"Uh oh. That's not a good sign…" he muttered.

He opened the door, and saw that his office was full of tan balloons.

"Well," she said chuckling, "I guess we know what 'balloons' means on the list."

"Let me see this thing… God, Chase has girly handwriting. Okay. Looks like I've got to check the couch, chair, third desk drawer… Oh my God."

"What?!"

"They stole my PSP! Now that's just mean."

Lifting up one of the couch cushions, Cameron felt something squelch beneath her fingers.

"I think I found what they did to your couch."

She held up the cushion, squeezing it. Globs of purple (probably grape) jelly oozed between her fingers.

"This is just… really gross."

"Do you know how much it's gonna cost to get that cleaned?"

Bringing the cushion out to the conference room, she dropped it onto Chase's chair. Then, she returned to House's office to search his chair. Deciding there was nothing gross in it, she sat down. House erupted in laughter as the chair collapsed beneath her, and the righted itself when she stood up. She swapped it with Foreman's chair. The third desk drawer, she discovered, was full of vampire teeth. She quickly disposed of the min House's trashcan.

"What shall we do with the balloons?" Picking one up, she realized that they were inflated latex gloves. She flicked one of the fingers.

"Let's put them in Cuddy's office," he replied.

They gathered as many as they could in giant black trash bag House produced. Why he had economy-size trash bags in his filing cabinet was a mystery to Cameron. Once their task was completed, Cameron realized there was a problem.

"I know we can't sleep in your office or the conference room, cause it would be too suspicious, but I am NOT sleeping in the morgue. It's way too creepy down there."

"Relax. We're sleeping somewhere else. Get your stuff." Obediently, she picked up her overnight bag and followed him. He led her to an unfamiliar room.

"Where's this?"

"It's the lounge/on call room for the Geriatrics wing."

"Oh. Okay. There's no one on call, is there?"

"No. I… 'rearranged' some schedules so that it would be empty."

With that they both laid down, and tried to sleep. Both had trouble doing so. Cameron was anxious to see what the boys would think of her and House removing all their pranks. House was still on edge, trying to stay calm. Everything she did, from the way she smiled to the way she flicked the finger on one of the balloons, turned him on. No one had affected him in this way before. It was new, and scary as hell, but he liked it.

* * *

Well, that was it. Once again, I'm sorry for the long wait, but I wanted it to be good. Now, you know what to do. Click the little button in the bottom left of your screen. Then type. Remember: reviews equals love, and love equals more chapters and stories for you guys!!! 


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